Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Familial ties:


I ran across an interesting story this evening, and I've included a
link to the article just in case some of you have the time.

I was looking for
a suitable image to borrow to convey the image in my mind of the family
that stayed at the hotel last week, the image I was looking for is not there, so I can only try to convey it
with words. I've debated with
myself whether or not to write such a post as this one, but I can't
seem to let it go. This is the second time I've decided to write this article.
...A father and his son, a little guy of about 10 were
walking ahead of mom and daughter and were easily out distancing them,
they were already ahead on the sidewalk by probably 20 paces or so,
their laughter and chatter was pleasant, and as they approached the
entrance, the father paused to look back and seemingly satisfied, they
went on their way. Behind them was a daughter, who looked to be about
17, and pretty, but modestly so. She looked just like any other teenager
that you might see in the mall, with long blond hair and jeans, and
blossoming into early womanhood, except that on her arm was her
mother, who was
slowing her down, as she
was bent nearly 90 degrees forward at the waist, and leaning heavily on this
young girl's arm. She was thin and frail, her skin stretched tightly
over her very visible bones, yet she was easy to look at, and I didn't
feel as though I was staring impolitely. I  sensed a pride to this
woman, even in her obviously handicapped body, and there was something
about this whole family that showed character and strength. I knew
instantly what I was looking at, it was love, and there was no shame.


"The story of severely disabled people is as
much about love and understanding as it is about sickness or sorrow."
angelashouse



























6 comments:

Lotus Dale said...

When I think of my siblings, any one of them, or all of them, I always find reasons to be proud they are my brothers and sisters. We are blessed, each of us, with siblings we can love, and with a mother we can still love at age 79 ... a mother who still brings joy and laughter to my life and to our home. I am blessed to still enjoy her love and her presence - even when she smacks me upside the head, or sets both of my ears ringing. Ask aunt Maggie how well mama has been doing this week. Mag has spent several evenings with mama and me watching Jackie's CSI dvds. Mama has been alert and good company, watching tv with us and cracking us up with her comments, esp the one abt having sex with my daddy. ROFL.

Thanks for the post, and the link. The comment there: "To be the parent of such a medically fragile child is a hard bargain, a painful blend of parental love, profound duty, self-preservation and the never-ending nature of grief." resonates. I understand where they are coming from when they speak of a blend of love, duty and self-preservation, altho for me I don't see my role as mother's caregiver as a duty so much as a responsibility, not a debt but a gift, given to mother when she most needs it, in the twilight of her life.

Amelia Cirilo said...

I've always admired Charlie's family. Their devotion to each other and their devotion to their parents. It is a rare thing to find now-a-day.
I admire the goodness and paths you all have taken. Your humbleness is also to be admired.
I almost never write. but I keep up with you all through Lotus's writings in multilpy.

Also, Les tried to establish contact and I dropped the ball and I guess he gave up.

Amelia Cirilo said...

I've always admired Charlie's family. Their devotion to each other and their devotion to their parents. It is a rare thing to find now-a-day.
I admire the goodness and paths you all have taken. Your humbleness is also to be admired.
I almost never write. but I keep up with you all through Lotus's writings in multilpy.

Also, Les tried to establish contact and I dropped the ball and I guess he gave up.

Lotus Dale said...

The post above was written two years ago. Mama will be 81 in just a few days, on the 24th. The following day would have been her's and daddy's anniversary.

Mama is still bring joy to my life every day. I look back to when she was in the hospital a couple of years ago and the doctor told me I'd never be able to keep her after that. If he could see her now, he wouldn't believe how well she is and how much a part of our lives she remains.

I asked her today if she wanted to go jogging. "What would I have to do?" she replied. When I told her she'd have to start running when I sd on your mark, get set, go, she sd, "No, I'm not doing that." Then she shoved me. lol.

She's so funny and I'm still blessed to have her in my life. I just feel bad for all of you who can't enjoy her so much as I get to.

Love to you, aunt Emily, and to all.

Amelia Cirilo said...

Hi, Lotus!!
I'm so happy about your mom being so well. That is because she has loving care. It is astonishing how much LOVE can do for a person's well-being. God Bless you.
Your Mom and I are about the same age. I will be 82 on May 23. I am very blessed with good health. All except for bone problems like arthiritus, osteoporosis, back problems, knee problems, and not least,memory problems. Sometimes I'm going and I think I am coming. I'm coming and I think I am coming. But I going whereever I can.

With love,
Your aunt Emily

Lotus Dale said...

lol. she can still make me laugh. hardly a day goes by that i don't laugh (and cry) remembering mama. well, i cry everyday, but hardly a day goes by that i don't laugh recalling her antics. she filled my life with joy.

i hope you are well these days, aunt emily!