X-mas

in order to placate the the nay sayers, and the supreme court judges, i am posting a few pics of my non-intelligent design holiday. i failed to get a picture of myself with my new tin foil cap. sorry.

engineering

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his
dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong
place."

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is
let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of
comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After
awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,
and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan
replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and
flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer
is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

I've won a Multiply T-Shirt, or, I've won kay a nite shirt, boo.

Here it is, and very nice. I won this for being the worlds greatest Dad
& Grandpa, or, because I followed directions and went out and
multiplied, or, I earned it answering a survey.

In any event, there are only twenty t-shirts given out like this one,
whats the chances of me running into one of the other 19?
Anyway, kay looks ready to multiply and replenish the earth, so guess I'll let her wear it a little. ;O)

woman driver posted for: LaShaye

Lashaye is wondering if she would like multiply?
 >

A
WOMAN DRIVER

A driver did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk even
though he could have beaten the
red light by accelerating through the
intersection.

The tailgating woman behind him went ballistic, pounding on
her horn and screaming in
frustration as she missed her chance to drive
though the intersection with him. Still in mid-
rant, she heard a tap on her
window and looked up into the face of a very serious police
officer. The
policeman ordered her out of her car with her hands up in the air. He then

handcuffed her, took her to the police station where she was searched,
fingerprinted,
photographed and placed in a holding cell.

After a
couple of hours, another policeman approached her cell, opened the door and let
her
out. He escorted her back to the booking desk where the arresting
officer was waiting with
her personal effects.

He said to her, "I'm
very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while
you
were blowing your horn and flipping the guy off in front of you and cussing a
blue
streak at him. It was then I noticed the "Choose Life" license plate
holder, the "What would
Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the "Follow me to Sunday
School" bumper sticker and the chrome
plated Christain Fish emblem on the
trunk."

"Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the
car."