A noble tradition probably born of necessity that I hadn't experienced until I became a part of Kay's extended family. As a last labor of love and respect, the male family members dig the final resting place and build a wooden vault to place the casket in. Immediately following the services, the grave is covered over, all work is done by hand. This grave was especially difficult and took them eight hours to dig due to the long dry spell that we have been having. The heavy clay soil located in the hills of Sicily Island was compacted and took pick axes to penetrate. Personally, I have only had to assist with one grave digging for Kay's younger brother who passed away when Darrell was seven.
28 comments:
for those who may think this post isn't happy enough for multiply, i say, wake up, get real, get a life. death is a part of the life cycle that is appointed to us and is inevitable. this is as real as it gets. thankfully, i have 101 virgins waiting for me on the other side. (i made that last part up so i can start my own following).
wow.. that's work all that digging. ... i never got the 101 virgins thing... i personally would want a bit more experience in the mix. But then again, a Jihadist i'm not.
I don't think I know any other families that do their own digging. Have they sd why they do this, other than tradition? Mostly, I don't feel like we've done the deed until we throw dirt on the box: "fm dust thou art, to dust thou shalt return"....
i'm guessing, but probably started as a way to cut expenses and continues as a final tribute.
if nothing else would make you regret a death in the family that sure would. ground is so hard now..that i rented an hydrilic post hole digger i got 3 inches in the ground after 3 hours of work. we refunded the money on the fence cause we couldn't do it....didn't own a tractor w/ pto.
thats tough. we can rent tractors with a pto and digger here.
talk abt groaning when someone kicks the bucket in the middle of august! even if they were one of yr favorite people, or maybe ESPECIALLY if they weren't one of yr faves.
goodlooking boys you got there. they looked real handsome at the funeral. getting so grown.
so that this stone sunk since it was laid? it looks like it was pretty deep.
that's a nice tradition.
does everyone stand around while they're digging, or did they do that before the funeral?
i like the plain casket. i really, really don't want to be put into one of those plush, plastic things that they're burying people in these days.
i have friends in a house church in san francisco. when their pastor died one of the men hand made a casket for him while the women all got together and used all of the pastor's old shirts to make a quilt for him that they wrapped him in. i think it was a nice way for them to mourn his passing together -- feeling that they were doing a final act of kindness for him, and remembering things about him together as they worked.
i agree. very nice.
very funny... ha (the caption is to perfect)
sunk, yes. also the loose layer of dirt left over from the new digging was spread over all three graves and most stones sink naturally requiring periodic maintenance. by family in our part of the woods. .
only the lazy ones. no, not really. the grave is prepared the day before the funeral. what you're seeing here is the grave covering which follows the burial after most of the family and friends people have gone, and is usually done with a backhoe.
i have great grandparents buried in emmett, michigan. i went with my gram and mom one time to check on the stones and we couldn't find them. then i noticed that there was one little teeny patch of ground without grass. (like 2 inches by 4 inches. that's what i mean by patch.) i started scooping the dirt out of the bare patch and there was one of the stones. the grass had almost completely covered it.
then, after locating that one, we were able to guess where the rest were located and pull them up as well.
i'm afraid that once my gram goes, no one will go check on the stones and they'll sink for good. :-(
lol. too cute.
*grin*
how exactly do they seal the box? i think people should do like yr friend posted and build the boxes and make the wrap quilts and don't throw all that money down the drain grave.
Talk abt getting closure for a life that's gone. It doesn't get any more real than burying them yourself.
i'm honestly fixing to do a living will.. and i'm going to request a pine box to be built.. the .5 mil i have in life insurance could be used for my existing family.
lol. she knew what she wanted to do with it!
see, she knew she was right!
decent carpenters in our fmy. i don't blame you. not only is it smart, but it should be more meaningful.
it's just plain dumb to create any more hardship on yr fmy via unnecessary funeral expenses. gonna be plenty enough hardship as is without that.
i'm proud you remembered your favorite uncle byron, but i'm too busy to help build a pine box. will a glad ForceFlex or hefty cinch sack do? they are both 9 mil.
about wills. you've heard the one about the husband who wanted to be buried with all his money so his wife wrote hm a check for the full amount.
lol... you heard about ....
the couple trying to get their budget to balance..so they agreed that he cut out drinking.... 3 weeks goes by and he notices that she comes home with a ton of new make up and outfits. he said what's with this? I thought we where going to cut spending?!
she replied, but I got to look good for you.
He answers, but that is what the beer was for.
I heard that joke and thought it was really funny. Can't remember all how it goes, but good joke.
p.s. I like those force flex bags.
that's funny too, aaron. :)
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