We went to a different kind of funeral today. Not odd in any way except this was our first to attend where there was no casket, no body for viewing. There were pictures of the deceased and of his family, although I don't think he was ever an enthusiastic collector of self portraits. There was a digital slideshow created by someone, though I'm not sure who. There was an urn sitting with no particular prominence amongst the flowers. Kay's uncle, Howard Gene Denny Sr., 62, her mom's youngest brother, passed away Sunday morning while trying to escape a house fire here in Clayton.
This was the house purchased many years ago by Wesley and Louise for her Mother, Geneva Denny. It was an older home, purchased for $500 and moved at their expense before Kay's Grandpa Velch Denny passed away. Velch and Geneva lived in a small trailer, similar to an airstream travel trailer, on this same spot when Kay was carrying our youngest son Darrell. We visited Grandpa Velch in his new home several times. He was a fisherman, a skill which he handed down to his boys and theirs, with one of the grandsons JD Denny now owning and operating a successful business on the outskirts of Ferriday.
Howard Gene served two tours of duty in Vietnam, and worked as an oilfield toolpusher before retiring to live as a true sportsman does. Hunting and fishing were his forte. Howard was a decidedly
unpolished man, but his generosity was notable. Curtis has one of his trophy mounts dated December 3rd, 1976, mounted on the wall in his room. I also worked for him over 30 years ago before Kay and I were married.
It was his wish to be cremated and his ashes scattered on Fools River, a river where they grew up and he first learned to fish. I've always thought this way of dealing with your remains was a little macabre, but I have learned something today. The preacher, who was his next door neighbor, had a stroke this past October and, with a cane for assistance and a slight slur of speech, he spoke with eloquence about ashes to ashes and dust to dust. The text of that service is adapted from the Biblical text Genesis 3:19 (King James Version):
"In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return."
He spoke of Howard's generosity and his willingness to give to those in more need than himself; he spoke of his strong nature, as he was known to be boisterous at times, a nature he passed to his son Howard Jr.. The pastor says he forgave him for that a long time ago.
His brother Bill who is a veteran as well, got up and said the final words. He spoke about his brother's service to his country, his sacrifice and willingness to give all for the love of his country and, on the President's/Commander-in-Chief and on the US Military's behalf, he presented a folded flag to the son and daughter and gave them a military salute. It could bring a tear to the eye.
All of these things said about him was touching, but not significantly different than others we've heard. It was not until after the service that there was anything especially poignant, after all the condolences had been said, all the kind words and hugging of necks were done. In orthodox funerals it would be time to time to walk away with only the memories and images we have in our minds of yesterdays. Not this time. Howard Gene Jr. walked up and with a determined look on his face picked up his father's ashes and placed the urn in his arms. A few minutes later I saw his daughter holding the urn, and I began to understand that they still hold a physical part of him, and they will not leave empty on this day. Later as we stopped to look at the burned out home, Howard Jr. and his family drove up. There is nothing left.
The preacher said that he believes he would have given you the shirt off his back if you would have asked. Today, with forethought, he gave himself. Who would have thought. They will follow his living wish to be scattered on Fools River later this summer from a barge.
http://www.natchezdemocrat.com/news/2010/nov/23/man-dies-clayton-house-fire/
